I never thought I’d say this out loud.
But thank you.
Thank you for breaking me.
For the longest time, I carried so much anger, pain and questions in my chest that it felt like I was breathing through splinters. I replayed conversations in my head. The betrayal. The rejection. The manipulation. The silence that felt louder than screams. And every time, I thought — this isn’t fair.
But fairness has nothing to do with it.
Life isn’t about fair. It’s about becoming.
I used to think that breaking was the end. That once the pieces of me scattered across the floor, I would never find them again. I clung to the idea of “whole” like it was something someone else could give me back. But here’s what I know now: no one can hand you back what they already broke.
The people who hurt me didn’t destroy me.
They stripped away the layers of who I wasn’t.
Their absence forced me to sit with myself. To meet the parts of me I had been avoiding — the scared, messy, angry, lonely parts. It was uncomfortable. It was painful. And it was the beginning of something I can only describe as… freedom.
I won’t lie to you. Healing wasn’t graceful.
It wasn’t morning yoga and herbal tea and forgiving smiles.
It was ugly.
It was crying on the bathroom floor, questioning my worth, rewriting stories I didn’t want to admit I had believed about myself for years.
But here’s the beautiful, terrible truth: you can only rebuild when you’ve allowed yourself to break.
I didn’t know it then, but those fractures became the blueprint for the person I was always meant to become. The one I see now in the mirror — stronger, softer, truer.
This isn’t about glorifying pain. Or pretending what happened didn’t hurt.
It’s about choosing not to stay there.
It’s about saying: you hurt me, but you don’t get to define me.
To the ones who broke me: thank you.
Without knowing it, you pointed me back to myself.
I’ve been writing about this a lot lately — trying to make sense of it all. Maybe one day soon I’ll share more. It’s all part of something I’m working on.
And I think you’ll feel it too.
July 09, 2025
Still in pieces,
That’s me!