I want you to try something.
Get a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle.
On the left, write everything that is in your control right now. On the right, write everything that isn’t.
Don’t overthink it. Just write.
I did this recently on a day when everything felt too big, too far and obviously too slow. And somehow I kept blaming my ruling planet. Anyway, what came out really surprised me.
My “in my control” list looked like this:
My time. My freedom with it. Reading. Writing. Taking care of my health. Growing spiritually. Meditating (My most favorite thing is to connect with myself). Practising gratitude (Another favorite one to look for sparkles on my way, always). My energy. My thoughts. My attention.
And my “not in my control” list? It looked like this:
The response to the last email I sent? How to figure everything out? What do other people think of my work? Will my books sell? Where? When? Whether I can leave my 9-5 someday?
I stared at both lists for a good 32 minutes now. I also made a tiny note below each, about how I will feel after accomplishing each on the left as well as right? (This one is the most important step!)
And then I noticed something.
Everything on the left — every single thing I said was mine; was just a practice. Something I do. Something I show up for everyday. Something that belongs to me completely regardless of what the world does back.
Everything on the right was just an outcome. Something that happens to me, or doesn’t. Something that depends on timing, on other people, on forces I cannot magically manage from my desk at midnight.
But this is where it hits me:
What if I don’t let the list on the right control the things I did anyway? (on the left)
A lot of us have been measuring the quality of our lives and our progress; entirely by the right column. The outcomes. The things we can’t control. And then wondering why we felt like we were always failing.
I wasn’t failing. Nor are you. We were just looking at the wrong list. The anxiety so many of us carry isn’t really about not knowing what to do. It’s about measuring ourselves against outcomes we haven’t reached yet. We could reach there or maybe we might never. And, even if we don’t, we will eventually get somewhere more magical, anyway?
And let’s talk about the “time” which is on the left side of the list. That time is yours.
Here’s what I’d invite you to add to your “in my control” column, if it isn’t there already:
What I choose to build with it and at what pace.
Because that one is yours too. Completely.
And you don’t have to figure out the end of the journey today.
You just have to decide what you’re doing this week.
Also, what’s the one thing on that list you want to actually show up for today?
Just do that. It’s enough. You are enough, You always have been.
— S