Date Archives October 2025

It might sound silly but I’m writing this to myself because I need to hear it out loud from someone, anyone, and maybe that someone has to be me right now. Lately, I think I’ve been carrying so much; so many expectations, so many emotions, so many roles – all at once. I’ve tried to be the understanding one, the mature one, the kind one, the person who sees every side, the one who keeps everyone else afloat. And I’ve done it quietly, without complaint, because that felt like the “right” thing to do.

But today, I think I really needed to remind myself: I really don’t have to do it all. I don’t have to always be the strong one or the right one or the kindest one. I don’t have to understand or forgive or carry what isn’t mine alone. I can step back. I can pause. I can still take care of me first.

“You’re not wrong for feeling done. You’re human for feeling tired. And you’re brave for even admitting it out loud.
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It’s okay to take a step back and let others meet you halfway..”

I need to remember that it’s okay to expect others to meet me halfway. I’ve given so much, and sometimes it feels like no one notices, no one reflects it back, no one sees the weight I’m carrying. And that’s not a failure on my part or anyone’s responsibility either; it’s simply a reminder that not everyone is ready or willing to share the load (yet).

So I am finally giving myself permission: permission to rest, to apuse, and to just breathe. Permission to take a break without guilt, to slow down, and to check in with my own heart before anyone else’s. Permission to also protect my peace and my energy, because I have worked really hard for it and they are precious, and they matter.

So in the meantime… I will just be. I will let things unfold at their own pace and allow myself the patience I’ve long given to others.

In the Blink of an Eye…

Life will go by in the blink of an eye.

You won’t even realize it’s happening; not when it’s gentle, not when it’s wild, and definitely not when it’s everything in between. Most often, you won’t even have the chance to pause and understand that life is really just going by, quietly, secretly, in that blink of an eye.

You’ll meet people who’ll hold up a mirror to your best self; the you that laughs too loudly, dreams too deeply, and hopes even when there’s no reason to.

And then, there will be others; the ones who walk straight into your soul without knocking, who somehow show you the corners of your heart you didn’t even know existed. They’ll tell you things about yourself you’ve hidden so well that even you forgot they were there.

At times, you’ll get to choose the people around you; the ones who make life taste like your favorite coffee on a slow Sunday morning. And other times, life will surprise you with its randomness; from strangers that become stories, stories that become lessons, and the lessons that eventually become a part of who you are.

You’ll get lost, many a times, even when you clung so close to the map..

But you’ll find yourself again; sometimes in music, sometimes in a long walk in an unknown neighbourhood, and other times in the middle of a conversation that feels like home.

There will be moments when you’ll be more lost than ever (just like now); moments when even your reflection feels like a stranger. But maybe that’s what it means to live — to lose, to find, to lose again, and to keep walking anyway.

Just a while ago, I woke up from a long nap. The seasons outside seem to be changing. It’s strange how naps feel like time travel at this time of the year; one moment you’re here, the next you wake up somewhere between a silly memory and funny reality. I do have a love-hate relationship with naps; especially in the autumn. They never fail to stir something in me; a nostalgia so heavy, it almost feels like everything is still a dream.

I’m still trying to connect the dots of all the places I stopped by this silly dream. Some of them make sense; a few faces, a few corners of old memories; but the rest still leave me asking a million questions about why I existed there in the first place. A lot of it might not make sense, but maybe someday it will. Maybe life, too, is a dream that only makes sense when we’ve lived enough of it.

That’s what’s happening right now. Which is why I’m here, writing this — because there’s no better way to deal with feelings than to let them spill softly onto paper.

The journey so far has been… beautiful.

Bittersweet.

Chocolatey.

Dreamy.

A cocktail of all the emotions I haven’t learned to name yet; a mix of longing, wonder, quiet heartbreak, and gentle hope. It’s strange how life can be both soft and fierce, both fleeting and eternal; how it can make you ache and heal you in the same breath. Maybe that’s what autumn always teaches me, to let go of the battle between holding on and letting go…

And maybe that’s the secret — that in the blink of an eye, everything changes, and yet somehow, everything stays.

And if you listen closely, somewhere between your heartbeat and the silence that follows, you’ll realize —

you’re still here.

Still breathing.

Still falling in love — with everything, all over again.

To become someone.
To become grounded.
To become soft but strong.
To become unshakably at peace with who I am.